Local weatherman’s rapidly changing storm prediction yet again confuses viewers
Todd Walters, the weatherman at Local WXZY station, is known for his rapidly changing forecasts that frequently have an 82% margin of error. His latest forecast for a nor’easter has come under scrutiny by local residents.
7:30 a.m.
Todd is predicting 2.5 inches of snow with light winds. He tells viewers it will be a low-impact storm.
8:01 a.m.
Todd is now predicting a major impending nor’easter.
8:03 a.m.
He has nicknamed the storm Snowpocalypto, the storm to end all storms and asks viewers to use #ToddsSnowpocalypto when posting to social media.
8:04 a.m.
He has now declared it the “Worst Snowstorm in the Existence of the Earth” and is comparing it to the snowstorm seen in the blockbuster film The Day After Tomorrow, which he is now airing clips of.
8:10 a.m.
Todd somehow managed to get Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid on air to discuss apocalyptic snowstorm survival strategies, which they both stressed they were not qualified to do as they were merely acting in the movie.
8:15 a.m.
Todd is reporting from the local grocery store as he tells residents to get bread, milk and eggs before these non-essential ingredients run out. He urges residents to prepare for nuclear winter conditions and for inevitable societal breakdown.
8:17 a.m.
He interviews a doomsday prepper and provides tips on how to survive at least thirty days in a fallout shelter. He then performs a demonstration on how to properly can goods in mason jars for shelter food supplies.
8:21 a.m.
Todd is back at the station and solemnly addresses viewers in a departing speech; “We’re all doomed, godspeed.” and signs off the air.
8:30 a.m.
Todd is back on the air and cancels the storm warning. He is now predicting sunny skies with a high of 82 degrees. “Don’t forget your sunscreen everyone!” says Todd.
The next day
The northeast was subsequently battered with blizzard conditions for over 18 hours that left millions without power. Residents are outraged as most were caught off-guard while en route to enjoy a day at the beach. Todd’s response, “woopsie, weather is a fickle thing.”
