Local Dad Prepared to Spend Full Week, Maybe Month, at The Home Depot Looking at Light Bulbs
Mansfield, MA — Local Dad, Greg Shaw, is planning on spending a full week in aisle 9 at The Home Depot. “I’m in need of a new light bulb for the garage and a few other necessities like duct tape and a driveway reflector so I’ll really need as much time as I can get.” When asked where he would be staying in there he replied “in the kitchen section obviously, there’s a reason they have model kitchens and bathrooms there. For Dads like me who need to pick out urgent necessities.”
We pressed Greg why he would need a full week for these small items and he became visibly irritated “do you not know anything about light bulb variety and have you ever been to Home Depot?”
When asked what he would be doing for the week, he laughed and said “Good one. What could I not do for a week in Home Depot?” He rambled on “I plan to spend a whole Tuesday looking at light bulbs and then possibly wander over to aisle 10 and look at different types of duct tape and reflectors — if I have time. I’d rather spend a full separate day and a half looking at tape but we’ll see.”
Greg was packing a trash bag full of clothes for his trip. Most, if not every, piece of clothing he packed was completely covered in paint stains. When asked why he didn’t just use a suitcase he said “I got these trash bags at Home Depot. They’re 40 gallons and heavy-duty so they’re really meant for occasions like this. These aren’t made for trash. Not these ones. These are a Home Depot special. Doesn’t get much better than this. Heavy-duty.” He then tossed in a ham sandwich and sealed the bag with duct tape — which we are assuming he also purchased at The Home Depot.
He grabbed his 40-gallon bag and dragged it out the door, waving goodbye but not before grabbing ahold of the outdoor stair railing which he noticed was loose after giving it a hard shake. “Looks like this might need a new screw! Tell my family I could be gone for a whole month with this unforeseen addition to the list!”