Eyeglasses for stand-up comedians

Because an open mic is nothing without a quirky pair of glasses.

The Harry Potter

The audience will look at you with the same respect Hogwarts gives Harry. They might even think you are Harry. Bonus. I think? But if things go sour, hop on your imaginary Quidditch broom and get the bloody hell out of there!

The Intellectuals

When people see you with these on, they’ll know, you know what you’re talking about. Why else would you buy such a bold color pairing? Your joke about having the Trader Joe’s cashier as your wedding officiant will get laughs. Is it a joke? Either way, you’ll nail it.

The “I Know How to Have Fun”

You work in an office during the day but at night your fun. Just like a zebra. Wearing these will show the audience you need glasses but you’re not going to be boring about it and you got pizzazz. Your jokes about your cats doing the polka might be forgotten but your glasses will live on.

The Faux Movie Star

The audience is immediately going to think you were in a movie. Anything you say will be laughed at and they will wait by the door asking for an autograph after your set. Just tell them you were in that flick about dating in NYC, they’ll swoon over you.

The Safety-Goggler

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Because comedy is an experiment and your jokes are cringe-worthy. These will warn the audience things are going to get messy and probably regrettable for you…Eek.

The I Wear Over-sized Sunglasses at Night

No one will be able to look at you without laughing because you’re wearing a giant pair of sunglasses. Why is this funny? Because they’re four times larger than normal sized sunglasses. And because 7 out of 10 dentists agree that this is good comedy. You don’t even have to tell jokes wearing these — let the sunglasses do the work.

The Classic Mustache Lens

How can anything go wrong when you’re wearing these? If you didn’t prepare any material then this mustache disguise is for you. Be prepared to have the audience roaring with laughter the second you walk onto stage. You’ll walk out with a Netflix special guaranteed. This is the pinnacle of comedy folks.

Comedy/humor writer. Bozo navigating a serious world. brisasylvestre.com

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