Bloomingdale’s press release: Women’s Work From Home Fashion Line To Debut This Summer

We are launching a sophisticated women’s work-from-home (WFH) fashion line this summer and it’s time to get excited about it! We teamed up with Angela, a freelance blogger, who works from home and who hasn’t left her house in 37 days. Her hours spent in sweats were an inspiration for the pieces in our collection and we’re confident this line will be a success with women working from home everywhere.

Shoes: The line boasts scruffy pink slippers that will envelope your feet in comfort and total inelegance. The slippers can be easily paired with our signature fuzzy striped socks that already come pre-torn in the big toe area. We also have a fully-loaded sock that comes with slip grip bottoms for those tricky walking circuits you make around your living room to increase your daily FitBit step count.

Bottoms: We are proud to introduce our slouchy gray sweatpants with grease marks on them called the “I don’t have a boyfriend and I don’t care” style pants. We know regular old sweatpants aren’t for everyone so we will ALSO offer the “I’m letting myself go indefinitely” leggings set. The set will include 7 pairs for each day of the week but also reads on the tag that the same pair can be worn 2, 3, or an infinite amount of times in a row (depending on how many visitors to your house you have that week which we know probably won’t be any…which is totally..fine).

Tops: There will be a variety of cotton t-shirts that will be available! And make note, no blouses will be available in this line, don’t even ask because it’s all about T-SHIRTS. Shirts have been aged 10 years and come pre-stained with spaghetti sauce, paint stains, and more grease for your convenience.

Dressy: Our dressy collection will feature floor-length bathrobes (none above the knee as we want to keep it work appropriate) that you can toss on for an unexpected UPS delivery, when the pizza man comes to the door, or if your crush happens to stop by (which will most likely not happen but we like to have all bases covered). Our bathrobes all include sashes that allow you to quickly, and tightly, tie up your robe. No more worrying about that piece of egg that has been on your shirt for 3.5 hours, our robes are designed to have that hidden in a jiffy. We will also feature a white t-shirt with a pressed image of a tuxedo and bow tie on the front should you walk in front of your window and want your neighbors to believe you get dressed occasionally.

Outerwear: None. See the dressy collection. A robe should suit your needs. The WFH line is specifically designed to not have to set foot outdoors. Ever.

Brassieres: Also none.

Pajamas: We are ecstatic to offer our “all day pajama” set. The fabrics are specifically designed and seamed for long-term wear. They are also treated with waterproof sealant so no need to take them off for the shower. The set will be a flannel two-piece that you can wear to bed, wake up in, wear all day, and wear to bed again.

Accessories: And choose from some fun fashion accessories like a bag of chips, a cheetah print snuggie or a 7-lb bottle of dry shampoo.

All products will be available online as we know you don’t have any current plans to leave the house. And look out for our feature in Vogue magazine who is calling the collection “scary…Clothes that make you feel like you need to get out of the house at some point. But not today.”

Comedy/humor writer. Bozo navigating a serious world. brisasylvestre.com

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